Realization
by AkitoSin
Summary: It takes the lose of Sherlock to make John realize how much he really felt for him, but what if Sherlock isn't dead? SMUT JohnxSherlock plz R


Realization

It came moments too late. The words John was too afraid to say, the words that failed him in their last moments together. The realization that he had loved Sherlock reduced to the shattered memory of the man bleeding on the cold ground. Any hope of them being together died with Sherlock Holmes.

As John entered 221B Baker Street Mrs. Hutson handed him a box, he looked at it curiously giving her a small smile and a polite nod. When he was safely behind the door of the flat he uses to share with Sherlock he opened it to see a note from Molly;

_I thought you might want this_

_Molly_

John removed the note to see something of a deep blue color wrapped in plastic; he opened it and let the cloth fall into his hands…Sherlock's scarf. John slowly lifted it to his face and inhaled deeply. Tears spilt down his cheeks as Sherlock's scent filled him. Again the stark realization that Sherlock wasn't just his best friend, but he had always wanted more, washed over him. John fell to floor clenching Sherlock's scarf in his hand, and let the tears fall freely. He'd been keeping it together since the scene on the roof, but he couldn't fight it anymore. He didn't want to; he let it all come out, crying until he had no more tears to cry. After some time he pulled himself together enough to get up off the floor, still clenching Sherlock's scarf he ended up standing at Sherlock's door. With his free hand he turned the door knob and entered. John instantly regretted the decision. Everything Sherlock rushed his every sense. John held tight to scarf and pushed forward. He hadn't dared to come in before, and now all his reasoning came flooding back. John sat down on the bed. If he still had tears he would cry again.

"John" Sherlock's voice broke through the melancholy in John's mind, and his breath caught in his throat. John stood dropping the scarf blinking furiously at Sherlock image. If this was a dream it was cruel, but it didn't stop John from practically collapsing into Sherlock. John sobbed.

"I'm sorry John, I had no choice, I couldn't lose you" Sherlock admitted John grip tightened on Sherlock's chest.

"I love you John Watson" John looked up into icy blue eyes. His vision blurred with new found tears as he slammed their lips together his tongue pressing forward begging entrance. Sherlock obliged kissing the shorter man, his tongue danced in a fight for dominance in the passion filled kiss. John's hands tangled in the brown lush curls, as Sherlock gripped tight to John's hips bringing their centers together. John pressed Sherlock against the door one hand traveling up his leg his lips never leaving Sherlock's as he traced the outline of Sherlock's cock through the thin material of his slacks. Sherlock breathing became more uneven, and John was high on the thought that he had the normally composed man coming undone with his touch. John moaned into Sherlock's mouth his pants growing painfully tight at every brush of Sherlock's hips. John's hands deftly began to unbutton Sherlock's shirt, that purple shirt that made the man look so devilishly sexy. Sherlock broke the kiss to pull the cream colored sweater over his head, followed by the white t-shirt he wore underneath. John's hand pushed the purple shirt over Sherlock's shoulders, as soon as the shirt hit the door Sherlock's hand were back at John's hips, pushing him back onto the bed. He straddled the blond and rolled his hips suggestively. John gripped him by the waist and quickly flipped them over so he was on top. John unfastened Sherlock's dress pants and pulled them down with help from the taller man, underwear and all. Sherlock lay exposed and unashamed under John piercing gaze.

"God I want you" John's voice was ruff and desperate. Sherlock smiled wide up at John.

"Take what you want" Sherlock's response went straight to John groin. John began to kiss down Sherlock's neck, sucking and licking at his pristine white skin. Dragging his tongue across heated flesh he took a pale nipple into his mouth rolling his tongue over it bring it to attention before repeating the process to the other one. Sherlock moaned as John began to move lower, his tongue dipped into his belly button. Sherlock watched the blond through his eyelashes. John's hand gripped tightly to Sherlock's hips dragging his fingernails down over his thighs. He licked his lips as he came to the un-ignorable length between Sherlock's legs. With his eyes still locked to blue ones he licked at the tip causing Sherlock hips to rise of their own accord. John held tightly to the man's hips nails digging in leaving crescent shaped marks on the perfectly pale flesh. He took the tip into his mouth, not exactly knowing what to do, but in his head he knew; this was Sherlock, he could read the man, so he began slowly at first, testing the waters so to speak. After wetting the tip he leaned back and blew on the wet skin. Sherlock inhaled sharply both in surprise and pleasure, a part of him wondered where John had learned such things. John took more the next time around swirling his tongue around the shaft, more, deeper. Sherlock was panting now fisting the sheets, so close to release. When he felt a finger slide between his cheeks, his eyes snapped open. John was watching for a reaction Sherlock froze not sure what to expect, but John moved slowly, first just circling the tight ring of muscles, causing Sherlock to make somewhat of an uncomfortable noise. John slowly pressed forward slipping slowing inside Sherlock. Sherlock was stuck between wanting it out and wanting John to continue. John kept sucking as he slowly invaded the taller man, once he was all the way in he began to curl the digit inside, Sherlock mewed at the sensation, something inside him felt amazing, John smiled around Sherlock cock and pressing a second finger inside, Sherlock writhed on the bed. John wasn't sure how much more of this show he could hold out for, his own cock throbbing painful still trapped in the confines of his pants.

"God John, I….I'm" Sherlock cried

John paid no mind to the man; he curled the two digits inside him striking his prostate as he increased the suction. Sherlock cried out his back arching off the bed as he came hard. John felt him constrict around his fingers and the warm seed slide down his throat. He swallowed greedily slowly removed his fingers. He quickly stood and pushed his pants to the floor his cock sprang free dipping with excitement,

"Lube?" John eyed Sherlock

"Nightstand second drawer" Sherlock panted as he watched John slather a generous amount of lube on himself. Using his hands John pushed Sherlock's legs open to accommodate him. He positioned himself at Sherlock's stretched entrance and pressed forward slowly. His lips caught Sherlock's. He needed this more than anything in the world right now, he need to be inside this man, to take him where neither of them had ever been before. John sheathed himself in Sherlock swallowing a moan from Sherlock as he did, when he was all the way inside he broke the kiss and stared into Sherlock's eyes. Sherlock was panting, air hissing through gritted teeth, John caressed his hair and ran his thumb over Sherlock's bottom lip; Sherlock caught his thumb and licked at the tip. John was still unsure if Sherlock could handle this and his eyes pleaded silently at the man beneath him.

"Sherlock?"

"Move John" Sherlock whispered he wrapped his legs around the shorter man and pushed up into John pulling him deeper. John moaned as he began to pull out and push back in again. The apartment filled with moans and heavy breathing. John could feel Sherlock's cock getting hard against his stomach. He reached between them and gripped it tight. Sherlock's arms wrapped tight around John's shoulders bring him back into a rough kiss. John's movements became harder, faster, taking what he could from the man beneath him. Sherlock bit John bottom lip teasingly. John smiled his lust filled eyes never leaving Sherlock's.

"I want you to take me like this Sherlock" Sherlock moaned out at the words. "I want you to know how this feels"

"John…ah, more" was all he could manage between moans at this point, John pounded into him brutally, jerking his cock in time with his thrusts. "Cum inside me John" Sherlock threw his head back his body shaking as he began to cum again tightening around John.

"Fuck Sherlock" John breathed as he came inside the man. Every muscle in his body was on fire, his vision blurred as he and Sherlock came together.

The room was quite again, the only noise in the room, was labored breathing as the men laid side by side in the darkness.

"I love you Sherlock" John broke the silence. Sherlock pulled the man close and kissing to top of his head.

"I love you too John".


End file.
